Emotional goes viral.

Here I am typing in the middle of the night while the boy is sleeping soundly. Life haven't been wonderful for me I guessed. Luck went all the way down the drain. I can't explain the sucky feeling I'm having the entire week. I hate my life for that really. Having that fear in me and yup, the burden I have put in the boy's mind. How lousy and useless I have felt through out this entire week. I don't wish to let the boy worry and have additional burden added to his stress. I should be lessening his burden instead of adding (this is what I should do as a girlfriend but I failed). Though he have been acting strong to tell me things will be fine, comforting me, solving all the problems for me, making me feel better though he's sick. I'm grateful that I have him and I found him, really. I can't thank god enough for giving such a person to me into my life. No doubt, we had many difficulties in the past but we managed to pull it through.

I had a fun time today, with the girls (the usual girls that god placed them to be there forever). Not only the time spend with the girls but also the time when I'm at home with the boy watching his childhood videos. How adorable and how brave he is as a kid, really I swear he's the bravest kid that does not scared of anything. It really makes my heart melt and started to think if Timeus and Timeleon will be like him or not. He's such a cutie pie too I realized (not only when he's with me HAHA)

I really want to get a short get away with the boy soon but money is the issue to me, us. I'm a failure that the reason why the boy is working so hard is because of me. I spent way too much of his money already. I'm very guilty of that, way too guilty. Sigh, how I wished I have save money more more money before so that I won't have to worry. Now, I got to worry for Uni expenses too. Sigh.


P.s Sorry about my rantings.
P.s/P.s I can't stop thinking about the boy young look. Wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to cute!

Our very first documentary show - Dolphin tale

Remember the day when we watch this? I rewatch it again this time round. Winter and Soyer, did not have a smooth way all the way till Winter got a new tail, how many times did Winter rejected her "fake tail". How many times every single one at the marine hospital did not give up despite hardship, the plot of land being sold away to a developer, hospital having lack of money etc. Many difficulties they have made, how hard is it to hang on and go through. I relate back to us, how many difficulties we have faced, the money issue we are having, how hard it is to hold on this r/s but yet we are not giving up every time we face the same problem.


Winter and Soyer is just like you and me, I having a broken tail, not easy to understand cos' the communication between us was not very well. But Soyer, just like you did not give her up. Can you not give up this time too? 7 months is long enough for me, going to be a year. I want to be a dolphin just like Winter to make you smile, to go through hardship, even broken she's also willing to hang on with everyone. I want to hang with you, forever. Cos' family is forever. We are family boy, we are forever. No matter how things work between us, there's definitely a way to get out of this darkness. Hold our hand, hold each other hand. Pull through all the obstacles together. No one gave up doing Winter's tail even though they had to go through the same process over and over again to make the tail product out, been through disappointment, hopes gone down. But still, didn't give up cos' they want a miracle to happen.


Our miracle was for us to last long forever, the miracle will only appear when we die. Cos' by the time, we have already made the promises, to last forever and ever. Will you be with me forever, till death and go through all this with me? I know my temper may be bad, I'm sorry okay? I promise you, our promises stays, we do this together and handle this together. No matter what, we are together as one. We cannot do this individually, we need each other don't we? I need you for sure. I can't do it without you there to protect me, help me, clean my tears, being there for me, teaching me etc. I really need you in my life. One of the 4 guys that are in my life. Baby, don't leave me, cos' I'm nothing without you. I love you.

The special bond we got for each other, my love.

This lyrics is for you, the theme song for the show. It's meaningful and nice.

Hard to find a way to get through
It's a tragedy
Pulling at me like the stars do
You're like gravity
Even if the wind blows
It makes it hard to believe

How you gonna love
How you gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real
And if you lost your way
I will keep you safe
We'll open up all the world inside
I see it come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

Doesn't even matter to you
To see what I can see
I'm crawling on the floor to reach you
I'm a wreck you see
When you're far from home now
Makes it hard to believe

So how you gonna love
How you gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real
If you've lost your way
I will keep you safe
We'll open up all your world inside
Till you come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

We all fall down
We all feel down
Cause rainy days and summer highs
The more we pray the more we feel alive

How you gonna love
How you gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real
How you gonna love
How you gonna feel
How you gonna live your life like the dream you have is real

If you've lost your way
I will keep you safe
We'll open up all your world inside
So you come alive tonight
I will keep you safe

Well I will keep you safe
I will keep you safe

Happy V day!

My very first very first valentine's day that I have to spend with a boyf! And nonetheless it's my dearest boy!! I'm so so happy and looking forward to it? Why cos' I don't have to envy other couples already!! (Like my dearest girls lol!) But not to say, those who are single, happy friendship day okay! Single or attached, so long as you are loved / feel loved it's valentine's day too. For me, baby everyday with you is like valentine's day to me. Though we always have quarrel, dispute because of my spoilt attitude thanks for enduring okay? I love you a lot and I don't wish to lose you at all. I love you my boy. I want to be the first and the last to celebrate V day with you. Even when we are old, holding hand walking along the beach enjoying the sea breeze. Such V day is also enjoyable to me. You are my everything, my life. I'm sorry for everything okay. HAPPY V DAY BABY!! Wo zhen de hen ai ni ye bu neng mei you ni. We will spend this very day and end it in a very special day. Every one that has the first time with you is very important to me. Like every month after 3 months, each and every month is the first time with you as you know my past. V day is also the first time with you, CNY with you too, and many many others. It's not I am spoilt or what cos' I expect too much on these days that are first time with you. I can't afford to spoil the first times memories with you. Lastly, happy V day again baby. I love you. See you later! 

Life without you is meaningless.

Dear baby,


Zhang gong gong went to thailand without me!! So sad ): Come back quick please baby. No one quarrel with me very sian. HAHA. No lah, without you life sibei meaningless leh! No one to nag me (like how you always do), no one to hear me complain, no one to stroke my hair, no one to kiss, no one to hug, no your smelly pillow to hug, no so many things. COME BACK QUICK PLEASE. I miss you a lot a lot a lot. 4 days like hell to me, so heng you finish army le lor! If not I think I die. But still, thailand very fun! Enjoy yourself okay? Love you! See you soon! Muacks muacks. Miss you so much so much.




Love,
Dorothydorothai baby

Love = ?

What is love about? In that sense that how confident you can give your trust to the person, your life to the person and your entire to that person. How can your parents entrust you to your other partner for life? To entrust them that it's your responsibility this time round rather than them. I'm sure no parents will want to see broken up marriages or entrusting their child to the wrong spouse. So how can we prevent it? There are many less fortunate marriage, unsuccessful marriage in this pathetic world of ours. Like having a abusive husband, a depression wife, a problematic wife, a not understanding husband, both that can't come to a term. But definitely, there are more fortunate ones, how can they make their marriage successful? Trust, TLC, understanding between each other, how both can endure and F&F. Not everyone can understand each other till a certain extent as no one is their ownself. Sometimes, we just want to find our another soul that can understand us, nurture us just like how our parents did. Both have to play a role of a friend (BFF) boyf, a husband and also some part of a dad and also for the woman they have to play a part of a friend (BFF),  girlf, a wife and also some part of a mum. If the soul doesn't understand you from your point of you then there's something you have to do about it. If you can't seems to complain to your partner like how you did to your friends, there's definitely a communication problem in between. Who doesn't want to have a good communication problem, who doesn't want to have a perfect relationship? But how can we attain this or rather till this stage. It's not easy for someone to tolerate you, to always give in and etc. But why? We need to always give in, to tolerate each other. Why? Just because we love each other. So, how can we get the relationship better? 




Communication between any 2 persons is the crux to the health of their relationship. Therefore, it is important to observe good communication if you want to have and maintain a good relationship. The same applies to your spouse, whom you will spend the rest of your life with everyday. Without mastering the effectiveness of how to communicate well with your partner may put your relationship on the rock.




Communication failure occurs when one person feels that they are not understood. How many times do you react when a love one doesn't understand you? We want to be understood....we want to know that our husband or wife, friend, or loved one understands us. And when we don't feel understood, we react, whether silently, verbally, or with action. Usually those reactions are negative and feed into the cycle of breakdown. But consider this: of all the times you focused on not being understood, how often have you tried to understand the other person? It often doesn't occur to us in an argument that our loved one is also trying to be understood just like us. Clearly, if we sought more to understand, rather than always seeking to be understood, a lot of arguing would cease and we would find that the cycle of endless hurt is broken.




Communicating effectively with each other in a relationship does not come naturally! It may seem that way in the beginning, but as all couples know, once that honeymoon phase is over, the real challenge begins. It is dangerous to simply think that you can communicate effectively with your spouse on your own. Only through a joint commitment to build communication can greater understanding be reached. It is indeed a skill, and you will need to practice it in this journey of life...perhaps many times, but the good news is that anyone can learn it!




Why is communicating so difficult?

For the most part, communication breaks down when people fail to adequately say what and how they feel in a non-threatening manner. If we were all completely honest, which of course means being vulnerable, the majority of arguments and conflicts would not occur. As children, we go through experiences, good and bad, that ultimately affect how we communicate in the future. The term emotional baggage is often used to describe these attitudes we carry forward. If, for example, you grew up in a household with an angry parent that everyone constantly tried to avoid or soothe, you will likely carry this attitude into adulthood and when confrontation arises, whether real or perceived, you will either try to calm the situation or run from it. If your spouse says something you perceive to be heated, you will immediately revert back to this childhood memory and in turn, face your mate with your learned response. You will probably do whatever you can to avoid the subject and if your spouse, for instance, comes from a family where everyone accepts anger as a simple outpouring of emotion and nothing more, then the two of you may clash making resolution of issues a regular challenge.

There have been many books written on the subject of gender communication and most of them conclude that men and women truly do think and feel differently. Men communicate in order to relay information. In general, they tend to talk more about topic do not require discussing and relating to feelings and emotions. Men are highly competitive and proverbial problem solvers. Men will often talk to solve problems. Conversely, women typically communicate to connect with others. They would rather talk about people than things and they relay feelings quite readily. Women are more relationship oriented in their speech then men. While not impossible, these differences provide a challenge for us to relate effectively to each other.

Going into a relationship, we often have unrealistic expectations. Romantic novels and blockbuster movies with the stunning, self-sufficient heroine finally getting her perfect, caring, sympathetic man are nothing like the real world. And when we are shocked back to reality during our first communication breakdown, we can feel cheated, disappointed, and often angry. Hurt feelings lead to irrational behavior and blaming, which of course, leads to further communication problems and eventual relationship troubles.

So how can we have good communication problems?

 1) Give your spouse attention. Since he or she is the most important person to you anyway, give full attention and listen. Express that thought that your partner’s importance is never forgotten. Opening up to each other is the only way to keep a relationship strong.

2) Don’t jump to conclusions or suspect intentions. No one likes that, it’s an unfair judgment, especially if you are completely wrong about the case. Listen attentively, and do not speak until you heard the whole story. Being impatient and frustrated surely does not help things.

3) Have frequent discussions on anything under the sun. Whether it’s an event, an important person, a good idea, anything, as moments shared will help build the bond.

 4) Know when not to speak. For example, if you are not happy with the way he throws his clothes after a day’s work, do not just shoot off. Let him rest, then trust that he will pick them up later. It’s not wise to quarrel over trivia matter. Trust is the key ingredient of a perfect relationship.

5) Go out with each other regularly and spend some quality time. Date her! Write her a letter to ask her out as if it is your first time. Talk to each other and enjoy the company. Reminisce about old times; this will further increase your level in her heart.

 6) Don’t be negative about anything or life, for that matter. Be less critical of things. Most people fall into this habit, most probably due to other people in their lives; such is the state of society today. We have become complainers, and it is a complainers’ society.

7) Show respect for your spouse, like you would respect everyone. Respect is something everyone needs, and it must be given in all situations, regardless of mood. If you like to be treated nicely, first learn how to treat people nicely.

Well I haven't been a good communicator and such but still I want to have a perfect relationship with my boyf and also hope everyone else does. True that PMS is not an excuse for you to flare up but girls are also tend to be more emotional and stuffs. Why do they flare up more than guys? Maybe cos' girls are more vulnerable. In this, guys will have to understand and try to prevent ways to not let a girl flare up or try to avoid things when a girl flare up. Not saying that guys do not have temper too. How can we let it come to a stand where both can understand each other real well when it comes to temper. No one likes to be scolded, no one likes to be treated like shit. True enough, but how can you understand to a term where actually the person don't mean it? Well, just sharing my thoughts cos' the boy and I have been going thru hell lots of communication problem and I really hope that both of us will come to a way that we both understand real well. 

Baby we are fine now, and I hope the both of us can really understand real well and don't have communication problem. I really missed the times where we both treat each other real good. Please understand me, when I complain and all about how bad my life is and such or complain about others. I want you to know that, I want to complain to you I want to share with you everything, I want you to let you know how it feels when somethings happen. Like wise for you, I want you to share it with me too, and let me know how you feel and I don't want you to bottle up your feelings or find that you cannot share with me but rather you choose to share it with your friends than me. Yes, I understand sometimes your friends can understand better but utmost, I'm the one with you. So no matter what, or what happen you will always have me and I will be the one standing and fighting all situations together with you. I know we didn't have pleasant days these few days and miscommunications I want you to know that I will stand by you no matter what and I want you to do it too. Letting me know that even if I have no one I still have you. I love you. 

I need you

Baby, I want to let you know. Be it whatever incidents had happened. I still love you the same and you're never alone. I need  you and I'm sorry for the bad times we had. But I promised, we'll be fine and be better. I love you <3

Long lost post.

Been so long since I blogged and the boy has been bugging me since 1234567890 years. Hais this boy, everyday at my ear niam niam niam. In the end leh? I update here myself and he at there play his own phone. Hais. So where do I start with? Let me start with underwaterworld date with the boy the day before his birthday bah follow by his birthday celebration.


.11 December 2011 .Underwaterworld with the boy.


We wanted to wake up early to head down to underwaterworld however I overslept and then by the time we work up B's dad brought his worker over for full house painting and change his bedroom bed. Cos' having the double deck bed is too small for the both of us and the boy suggested way before hand that the bed is too small. Out of surprise, B's dad suggested to change and paint his wall before his birthday. Therefore, we help out to clear his room before we head down to sentosa. After clearing and showering we took mrt down to harbourfront station to take the monorail to sentosa! We were so excited for it as it's both our first time going to underwaterworld with boyf/girlf. But for B. it's his first time heading down to there. We went in like small kindergarden kids having their excursion to the UWW. Excited like hell. Die die must explore all the fishes. We went to touch the fishes at the start of the UWW and B and I touched stingray, starfish and some other fishes. There were so many types of fish! There were shark feeding too however we missed it. Then we went to see the enormous stingray where they allow tourist to feed the stingray too however we give it a missed as we do not want to waste money on it. But we still managed to feed the fish where we spend $2 for 2 tiny weeny bit of fish food. We went to 2 small glass panel where there are a small box for us to put our hand in and feed them however the first one we went to the fishes are not interested in it. Therefore, we head on to the second one. B went to feed the fish first and the fish suddenly came to the box and take the food way before B wanted to put his hand in. He got a shock. It was so funny and cute at the same time. I didn't dare to feed after that so I just throw it in. Haha. We proceed on to see other fishes that are down the road. There were many many other fishes, they all look the same to me since I last visited however I really do love underwateroworld. Hehe. We went on to see eels, crab, seahorses, jelly fishes, arowana (Idk how to spell it). The place is so so pack and seriously, many malaysian! Don't like don't like. After seeing those fishes, we headed on to the escalator thingy that led us going round and round. Kinda giddy but still, it is so funny when B started to make funny movements when we headed off to second round of going round and round. The underwaterworld seems kinda small and nothing as compared to other UWW in other countries. I also want to visit maldives! Hehehe. The place I bet have the nicest sea of all oceans in the world. After touring around UWW, we managed to see a diver in the tank cleaning and he waved at us. There is a program by the UWW whereby we pay a certain amount and we can get to dive with the fishes! I want to try that I swear. Since B also know how to dive. Hehe. After walking we headed to the souvenir shop and walk around. Nothing caught my eye though and the things ain't cheap and worth. Walk over to dolphin lagoon but there's nothing as the next show is at least half and hour later. So we went to buy food and go chop place! Hehe like some typical Singaporean hor. But still people also want snatch seats with us leh! But in the end, we managed to get good spots too. Waited for the show to start and eat while waiting. Weather is not being a bitch. Not very hot and not very rainy. Still, we failed to visit the butterfly park due to time constraint. Finally, after a long wait the show have started! They added new animals to the show which is the seal lion! So cute!! I also want a pet like that. But Singapore can't, too bad then! The show is quite interesting and entertaining overall it's all worth. Not like what I used to see in the past and definitely the seats and environment is much better than in the past. Overall, I hope B like his present and his first time seeing dolphins. Though it's just fake fake that the only present that is UWW tickets. Hehe actually the real surprise is at home. Can see B's really happy with going UWW with me. Love him so much. We saw many fishes together, see dolphin together, visit sentosa together.   The first time having such experience with the lover boy.



.Few hours before the boy's big day.


Went to eat dinner with B's family after UWW at buangkok zi char to celebrate his birthday. Nice food and nice time spent with them. A heartwarming family and celebration. After eating, the boy still don't know about his surprise as we keep mum from him. When he reached home, he thought why is there so many present at home and I told him, it's all yours. He was shocked, then B's sister bluff him that she's changing her clothes but actually she's preparing the cake. And tada, happy birthday song was sang and B was really touched. Ate the cake and took pics and yup. Short and wonderful celebration. Of course, that's not all. There's still unwrapping of presents to be done. We both went into the room to see him unwrap his presents. Slowly one by one he unwrapped, feeling so touched and he teared. I know he's touched and really surprised. 10 present represents shi quan shi mei. Baby, I know you will be reading this. Not only when your birthday I will treat you good. I will treat you good everyday just like it is your lucky day. I love you a lot and I make sure that at the end of the day you will smile even in your sleep. We have a long way to go and of course, we will hold our hands together tightly and walk together happily. What's past is past, unhappy moments over le what awaits us is more happy moments. God gave me this chance for you to come into my life. So please continue staying. Leave the most memorable footprints with me till I die alright? I love you.



.Actual day of birthday celebration.


Woke up in the noon when the sun is shining brightly at our backside already. Head over to the polyclinic to consult the doctor. Not because I'm sick but cos' I skipped school for the boy! Hehe what's more important than him. After polyclinic we had over to MBS as B's brother girlf's mum booked a room there so we went over for a swim! So excited as it is my first time there. There's so many first time with B and more to come right B? Hehe. Went over to MBS and chit chatted awhile till it's night time and we headed off to swim! It's so so cold especially on top of the building! The swimming pool is so nice and awesome! Gosh, I'm missing it already. Had a fun time with everyone and of course B. Oh yah, while we were at the shops at MBS I saw a leopard JC bag and I wanted it so badly!! It's so nice! But however, after swimming and showering we headed down again to have a look and for dinner the bag was the last piece and nah decided not to get it. Headed over to MS with B to have dinner. Had a romantic walk with B too! Hehe love walking with him. Went over to Just Acia to eat and we are the last two customer there. Lucky that it seems like we booked the whole restaurant or unlucky that we have to chop chop eat it fast. Hmm. After eating finish we headed back to MBS to meet the rest. We went back home not long when we reached MBS. A tiring day though. MC for 2 days! So I can accompany B at home too! Hehe. Baby I hope you have a wonderful birthday okay? First birthday with me and of course many more to come! Love you so much.